Why Does This Happen?

This ABC News article not only shocked me, it made me nauseated. I actually had to go wash my face and drink some water after reading it.

From the article:

According to a number of studies, homicide is one of the leading causes of death for pregnant women in the United States. Studies in Maryland, New York and Chicago determined that about 20 percent of women who die during pregnancy are murder victims.

You read that right, the number one killer of pregnant women in America is homicide. It goes on to say the killer is almost always the father of the child.

My regular readers know I ended an unhealthy relationship earlier this year. I still love her, and had she ever been carrying my child I would have been elated beyond words. I can't fathom this. I know that violence against women is an often shamefully unreported issue in America. But this, this truly sickens me. To think of a man killing the woman he loves and his own child is just beyond my ability to comprehend.

The women the article points out are all white. I wonder how the actual numbers break down; is this a white phenomenon, or is the media just typically covering it in the "missing white woman syndrome" way. I suspect, as with serial murders, it is more prevalent in white men.

I thought I had a lot to say about this, but words fail me. They seem very inadequate.

How Can This Happen?

I am so blinded by rage at this article that this post probably won’t even make sense.

As I have mentioned before. I am a single father. The minefield that is post-divorce child-rearing, visitation, dealing with the ex is my daily fare. I live in constant fear that the slightest accident or misstep will mean another trip to family court and the kids going to their mother. The logical part of my brain knows this is highly unlikely, but the fear is so deep rooted that it is impossible to dispel.

Then this.

Deployed soldiers are losing custody of their children while they are gone fighting the war. I just really can’t write anymore about this. Go read it, and get pissed off.

Marriage Jumps The Shark

According to a report in the New York Times, there are more women in America living without a husband than with one. This should not be surprising considering the varied reasons the report gives for this phenomenon.

What is never mentioned in the article is the specter of gay marriage. How many of those women without husbands are lesbians and would marry their partners if it were legal? I am sure in a few days the fundies will be all over this report, citing it as evidence of America's spiral into wantonness, idolatry, and gun control. I seriously doubt they will worry about the inability of a significant number of Americans to marry the person of their choice.

As for me, I am a firm believer in marriage (for all who desire it). I am single by circumstance, not by choice. I think marriage adds an added level of commitment into a relationship that living together will never cover.

I found the comments section particularly interesting. Mark Klien, MD seems to consider marriage an avenue for housework and sex. He never mentions love, commitment, companionship.

Couldn’t imagine being married again. It’s heaven on earth for older been there, done that single guys who can cook, have the resources to hire cleaning/laundry help and have lots of interests. Sex nowadays is a drug on the market.

I guess it’s a good thing for some woman that he’s not married.