Friday, May 30, 2008

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back . . .

No, I'm not turning into a Paula Abdul fan.

I had one of those dreams last night. It was vivid and real. She showed up with a box of pictures from one of our trips, and it was so real to me I could feel the texture of the prints on my finger tips, I could smell the scent of her soap in my nostrils. It didn't have any of that surreal feeling that is so common in dreams, it was just the way it would happen in real life, it was awkward at first, then comfortable and yes, wonderful.

I rarely remember my dreams at all.

Very rarely.

Except for those.

I remember thinking (in the dream), I can't do this again, I can't do this again, even as I was clearly basking in the glow of her company.

I woke up and I swear I could smell her soap on the pillow next to me.

The good news is, that even a couple of months ago, that dream would have given me a miserable week.

Today, it gave me a miserable half a day.

I'll take progress however it comes.


SaoirseDaily2 said...

Thanks for the sweet comments about the necklaces. I am so happy its the weekend. I see good things coming for you. Mark my words. Take advantage of this glorious weekend and have some fun.

The Red Queen said...

It takes a while. I think it's been 3 years for me and a few months ago I saw his car and nearly had a panic attack. But the length between episodes (feels a bit like a chronic disease, doesn't it?) gets longer and they start to hurt less. I promise.

Brave Sir Robin said...

RQ - It's been since October for me, and I know exactly what you mean about "seeing the car".

I'm slowly, doing better.

And yes, it does feel like a chronic disease.

Nice to have you here. Always is.

Bee said...

Of all the cliches, it's the most true: only time really mends a broken heart.

(Isn't it strange how some dreams can seem so real?)

Bitty said...

Bee beat me to it: the answer to the musical question is time.

The very fact that your intense suffering is down to 1/2 day is a good sign!

(I'd suggest you do interesting things, too, although it seems that you already do -- or you make it sound that way.)

pidomon said...

step by step my friend

pidomon said...

Wanted to stop by and thank you for the encouraging words

Matthew said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Oy, I've been missing your posts for a few days and going back to read the older ones. Houston sounds like a good trip.

I think Pidomon said it best. Step by step. Time does help.

SaoirseDaily2 said...

Faulty Towers Friday!!! Yeah! I'm trying the approach of getting more bees with honey than vinegar.

Tink said...

You crack me up!