Welcome To Planet Hummer

My daily lunch routine is pretty set.

I run by the house to check the mail, I do errands, sometimes I actually get to eat, I go back to work.

There are a set of railroad tracks that I must cross to get home. Today, as I came to them I was behind one of these.




The woman driving it slowed down to a freaking crawl to cross the tracks.

Hello??

You have the baddest, toughest vehicle on the planet, but you can't go over a railroad track? A very smooth, well maintained set of tracks at that. That would be bad enough.

There's more.

Today also happens to be my bank day, so after checking the mail, I went to the drive through. Guess who's in front of me? Yep, Ms. Hummer. She apparently can't reach the tube from her lofty perch, so she throws it in reverse and starts backing up. Never looked back. No warning. I (barely) avoided getting rolled over. She has to get out of her bus and walk to the tube. She finishes, gets in and proceeds to cut her corner too close and runs over the curb on the way out.

It gets better.

She is still at the light when I exit the bank so I get behind her. The light changes and she takes off. She turns into Sonic. There is one empty spot. She tries three times to pull into the spot. She can't do it. She throws it into reverse (this time I was ready, and yes, I'm following her for the perverse pleasure of it now.) She goes next door to McDonald's and gets into line with no further damage. Since I have no reason to poison myself, I use the parking lot to make my turn and I get to see her vehicle from the front. There is what appears to be part of an oleander bush stuck in the front, pink blooms still intact.

I went back to work feeling much better about myself.