Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Don't Bother . . .

I have a confession.

Brave Sir Robin likes to occasionally get his gamble on.

I love Vegas. I like to hit the casino on cruise ships. I've been known to gamble in Louisiana from time to time. I even like the dog races.

I like blackjack ok. I like to play poker, ("Poker? I didn't even kiss her!") with friends. I love to spend time in the sports book. I'm not much on slot machines, but I have played them.

I really love Pai gow poker. If you make it to a casino that offers it, I highly recommend it. Roulette is a lot of fun, though I rarely win at it.

Ahh, but the dice. Yes, Brave Sir Robin loves to play craps. It is such a social game. Get a hot guy on the dice and everybody makes money. You make friends very fast at the craps table.

So, with that in mind, let me tell you about our side trip to the Choctaw Nation Casino in Oklahoma this past Saturday.

We were all excited!!!! Myself, D & L were old hands at hitting the casino, but for G, their son, it was to be his first time. His girlfriend, Dn, also came along for her first casino experience.

We arrive to a packed parking lot. The place is huge!! Casino, hotel, conference areas, Rodeo arena, Concert Hall. That's a great sign, I thought. I've seen my share of rinky-dink roadside Casinos in Louisiana. This looks pretty good! It was about 2:00 or so in the afternoon.

How to describe it? A list of what I didn't see is probably the best way to let you understand the experience.

What I didn't see in the casino.

Native Americans.
The only Native American I saw in the entire place was selling trinkets on a table outside the official gift shop.

Clear Air.
Maybe the smoke eaters were broken, maybe they were simply over-taxed, maybe they were non existent. Who knows? All I can say is that my leather suitcase still smell like smoke just from having my dirty clothes in it for the day. Sweet Jeebus this place looked like an L.A. afternoon in the late seventies.

Young Middle Aged People.
I'm thinking the over/under age of the average patron was about 67.

(See previous item-this makes for an unpleasant combination) Enough said.

Empty Chairs.
This place was wall to wall humanity. As crowded a place as one can imagine. In the middle of the afternoon!

Craps, Roulette, Pai Gow, Sports Book.
This place had blackjack and slots. That's it. A Casino bigger than 2 or 3 football fields, and all they have is blackjack and slots. Oh, and there is a 50 cent per hand surcharge just to play blackjack!!!

Ok, I'm not saying I can't have a good time without alcohol. Ok, I am saying that. It's a freaking CASINO!!!!!!! I can't even have a beer? Are you shitting me? You are going to deny me craps and clean air AND a drink, then charge me 50 cents a hand to lose money?

On the bright side, some of the dealers had all their teeth.

btw - I'm really not exaggerating, its was worse than I'm letting on. I've cleaned out much of what I really wanted to say about the patrons.


ouyangdan said...

ewww! i could tell you some NASTY stories from when i worked at a casino in almost canada, might make you never go again...

there is a reason they test employees for TB quarterly...


Brave Sir Robin said...



Thank FSM they don't let us touch the cards.

ouyangdan said...

praise his noodly goodness!

Petra said...

Craps - yes - endless hours of fun. Such a social game.

Batocchio said...

Huh. Some casinos serve cheap or free drinks (and pump in oxygen) to keep you drunk and gambling.

Jennifer said...

*Rethinks idea that going to a casino might be a fun change of pace someday*

Brave Sir Robin said...

*Rethinks idea that going to a casino might be a fun change of pace someday*

There are good one as well . . . .